A Good Marriage and What it takes

A Good Marriage and What it takes

This is for women only because after doing some research this is how it works for smart women. Men the best you can do is to encourage your mate and have them read this. If you do they will play you like a fiddle, which is still better than being played like a drum.

I’ve spent about eight hours talking to  women today doing this research to figure this out. Now these women have been married to their mates for over fifty years, so they should know what they are talking about to have a good marriage and what it takes.

Granted they are older women then you all that are looking for answers for your marriage problems, and this is a bit of old school teaching but it works. So, you can take it or leave it. But if you are having marriage problems that need to be solved it is at least worth reading anyway.

I can’t tell you the names of the women I talked to because I didn’t ask for permission and their ages are well, let’s just say over forty being married over fifty years.

I’ll try to keep this article short but, you know how long winded I can get if you have read any of the others on this site.

If you are in a hurry the jest of it is women are the neck if the man is the head of the house. Who is really in control then?

Great! You are still with me. Sorry for the rest that couldn’t spend the time reading this.

Here is the real story. These women grew up in a different time and actually different century then what we are living in now. Don’t cut me off on this point even if you are a bra burner. After all you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t looking for some advice.

About sixty years ago divorce was all but unheard of! How was that? Because women knew their place! Now, don’t bale on me here before you get the understanding of this.

A woman’s place was to stand behind their man, (moral support) take care of the children and keep him focused. And they were good at it back then. So, what’s the difference from now and then?

Basically families were closer back then and daughters would take advice from their mothers. I can’t speak for the rest of the world but, from what I’ve seen here in America kids don’t listen to their parents. Since television has come out and can be found in most homes.

Because kids watch more television then their parents they think they are smarter then them. Which I really think is true because I know of several 40 and 50 year old kids still living with their parents. They don’t work and are not married and really no hopes even for a date but, they are mooching a home from their parents anyway.

My opinion on that is they are morons and shouldn’t breed anyway. Sorry, that was a bit of one of my rabbit trails I tend to get on.

Mothers used to pass on to their daughters before television how to take control of the marriage. And yes it is a bit of an act on the wife’s part but it has worked for centuries. It takes a bit of psychology but it is easy to learn.

Don’t be intimidated by the word psychology because it’s just the study of the mind and how it thinks. Kids think different than their parents, and men think different from their wives, and then some people are just down right crazy because they think different than the other 99% of the world.

However, if you want a good marriage and what it takes to have one, psychology is a pretty handy tool, but there is a big difference between a tool and a weapon.

A hammer in the hands of a carpenter is just one of the tools in a nail apron that helps build a house. And likewise psychology in the hands of a wife is just one of her tools that can help build a home. But just like a hammer can tear down a house too much psychology can trash a home. They both can be a tool or a weapon.

I don’t claim to be a psychology professor or anything like that. What I’ve learned is from hard knocks and reading about it. And yes I have been played like a fiddle and a drum that’s where the hard knocks came in. I think I’m OK now, but I’ll let you be the judge.

If you have been married to your mate for any length of time you probably know them pretty well. In fact you probably could finish their sentences for them. Am I right so far? You have heard all their past history and stories several times already. Right?

By now you think there is nothing more to learn about them. Well, if you are having marriage problems then you are wrong. And here is where the psychology kicks in. We all think alike in this aspect. We will go way out of our way to gain pleasure on the flip side of that we will go even farther to avoid pain. Let that sink in for a minute. I’ll wait.

Let me share a secret with you ladies. Men, go ahead and admit it. It’s alright because it’s true. Men never really grow up. Sure we mature, take on more responsibilities, buy bigger toys and even go as far to get gray hair but we are still kids at heart.

They say a man’s home is his castle. But the truth of the matter is that it’s more like his sand box. And when some neighbor’s cat uses it as a litter box when he isn’t there that’s pain to him. When he comes home and has to deal with piles of stuff, that is pain to him. So, if he comes home later or not at all, it is to avoid the pain.

Ladies, I’m not trying to pick on you by any means! I’m not sexist. I have a good friend that thinks he is retired and his wife makes the living in that house. And she has to work overtime to pay the bills. She came home after working overtime and got yelled at for working late.

If I was a woman married to him I would have kicked his butt to the curb. But she was a lady about it and smoothed things over.

The whole point of that rabbit trail was to say women really control the atmosphere of the home. It all boils down to how serious you took your wedding vows.

One lady that I know personally had her husband cheated on her with another woman years ago. She had every right to divorce him but she didn’t and they will celebrate their 56th wedding anniversary together soon.

I have worked construction most of my life and heard some pretty crude sayings and keep most of them to myself but this one just seems appropriate here. Ladies please don’t take offense!  But here is how men think. In a marriage women own half the money and all the pussy. I know its crude but it’s true.

So, if you are not doing your home work so to speak, a man will give up half his money to find a woman that will. And those gals are out there too!

Bottom line is: How much do you value your relationship? How serious did you mean your wedding vows? Are you making him feel like you are the neighbor’s cat that’s been visiting his sand box?

A word to the wise; a boy will put up with a whole lot of crap in his sand box if that pussy cat shows him some affection. For a guy that’s a good marriage and what it takes.

There is a whole lot more to be said on this subject however, I know you have a life that needs to be lived.

I’ll keep adding more articles to this blog but if you need marriage help now click here.

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