No Ground Rules in Marriage

“No ground rules in marriage” is what some one typed into a search engine and found this site. Are you kidding me? No ground rules? What kind of marriage is that? Can you name a game that doesn’t have some sort of ground rules?

Me either. And marriage is more serious than a game. But, on the search engines behalf they did their best to show them something close to what they were looking for. After all, no ground rules in marriage is not the normal keywords most people would type in to find something about marriage.

There is a post on this blog called “Arguments in the Marriage 10 Ground Rules“. So, that’s probably where they ended up. Who knows if they were the ones to spend an hour here or just 15 seconds? If they were looking for some kind of justification for inappropriate actions in their marriage they wouldn’t stay long here!

Oh well, you can only help some one that wants to be helped.

On the bright side of things I like a challenge and since nobody else is using these keywords, this post should be #1 in Google for “No Ground Rules in Marriage”. Not that too many people are going to type that in but, hey who knows? Try typing it in for yourself and see if it’s not #1. I’ll wait.

Well, if you have read my posts before you know that I normally don’t start off on rabbit trails. I save those for about the middle or end so, let’s just call this one a lead in instead. It must have worked because you are still reading.

Alright, back to the subject of no ground rules in marriage. How can that be? Every relationship has ground rules! Sure, most of them are unspoken but well known to all involved. For instance who gets married and then starts dating someone else? That won’t fly in 99.9% of most cases!

Ground rules are not a negative thing. It’s just a way to keep feelings from being hurt. After all, wasn’t that person your best friend when you got married? If not, why did you get married in the first place?

What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas so, don’t kid yourself. I’m sure that wasn’t your case. But, that was meant for somebody though. You know there is a big difference between lust and love.

Love is hard enough to keep the flame lit but, lust is like the kindling for wet fire wood. It takes more effort to keep it going especially in a marriage. The problem with lust is it’s self centered and love is selfless.

In other words love cares more for others than them self. Now, lust can turn into love if you are willing to pull yourself out of the equation.

Well, I guess we are in the middle or maybe the end we’ll see either way it’s time for one of my little rabbit trails again. Since I can’t spell worth squat I had to pull out the dictionary for the word equation. And found out how to spell it and also the meaning. It seemed like a good word to use. Actually better then I thought.

Equation - the act of equating things, or making them equal.

The point is life is not always fair or equal and some times you are on the loosing end and other times you are the BIG winner. So, don’t fret the small stuff. Look at the big picture and let them win sometimes too. Life is not all about you.

It would be a lonely place for you if it was. Because, after a while your friends and family would get tired of that and you would be on your own.

We have probably all known self centered friends and when we see them a block away coming toward us we would run across a busy street and risk our lives hoping they didn’t see us just to avoid them.

Don’t think any body really wants to be like that!

Who would want no ground rules in marriage? Society has rules for everything. If you want to get along with people you have to follow some rules. That’s just how it is. They will put you in jail if you don’t follow some of them.

And in a marriage it works the same way only it’s called the dog house or the sofa. However, I did get time off for good behavior and never had to share a room with a guy named Buba.

The bottom line is no marriage will last with out ground rules spoken or unsaid there has to be some ground rules. When you get married you won’t always see things eye to eye but, there is a thing called communication.

Really, and it works great when it’s done right. It all boils down to it’s not what you say but how you say it. And actions speak louder then words.

Whether you are renting or own your home there are chores to be done when your mate does theirs tell them and show them how much you appreciate their efforts. Come on work with me here! That’s easier then doing them yourself. Isn’t it?

So, no ground rules in marriage is like building your house on a beach without a foundation. Sounds more like a one night stand than a marriage relationship.

If your marriage is on the rocks instead of a solid foundation check out Save my Marriage Today . If you don’t want to buy the book at least sign up for Amy’s free news letter. It’s full of good advice and marriage tips.

You can sign up at I don’t believe in No Ground Rules in Marriage.