The Four Seasons of Marriage

The Four Seasons of Marriage

The Joy of Spring

Let’s talk about the four seasons of marriage. Since spring is the season of new beginnings we’ll start there. A new marriage starts out like spring time. The cold air is becoming warm again. The grass is starting to turn green. Flowers are blooming. Can it be any better than this?

The marriage is just starting and you both are so in love. It will always be this way Right?

The Dog Days of Summer

Well, some times, time is on your side but, the only problem is that it keeps going. And the next thing you know the season changes to summer time. And that is the hardest of the four seasons of marriage for couples.

There is an old saying April showers bring May flowers which is true. But, when you get to June you are in summer and if you want to keep the flowers alive and looking good you have to water.

In the four seasons of marriage it’s the same way. The honeymoon is over. They don’t squeeze the tube of tooth paste the way you do or the roll of toilet paper is not hung the way you are use to, the bed is not made to suit you and a million and one other differences that needs some working out.

It’s strange how none of that mattered in spring. But, now in summer it’s a different story. You were used to the flowers growing on there own in spring but, now you have to water them.

And now in summer you have to work with your mate because, they are not doing things for you on their own like the showers of spring time does for the flowers. This second of the four seasons of marriage is the worst. And usually ends the marriage with a divorce.

Here’s the problem. By the time we are old enough to marry we are already set in our ways from our upbringing. In it’s self that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The big question I have for you is why?

Why do you do the things you do? Why is it always done that way? Why is it your way is always right and your mate’s way is always wrong if it’s not your way?

Now, I know you think you have the best parents in the world but, did you ever consider that the way you were taught is because your parents made a compromise?

Most compromises come in the second season of the four seasons of marriage if the couple doesn’t get a divorce before. Maybe your Mom grew up with the toilet paper coming off the back of the roll and you dad the front and your dad squeezed the tooth paste in the middle of the tube and your mom only squeezed the end. And then your parents made a compromise.

So, you were raised to hang the toilet paper coming off the front and only squeeze the tooth paste from the end.

Now let me ask you this, in a hundred years from now would any of that really matter? In five years or even one would it really matter? After the tube of toothpaste or the roll of toilet paper is gone would it actually matter how it was squeezed or which direction it was rolled from?

A couple that was going through the second of the four seasons of marriage was having the bride’s parents over for dinner one evening. They agreed a roast would be a nice meal to serve. So, she gets out a roast and cuts the end off of it and sets it to the side and puts the rest of it in a pan to cook.

He asked her, Honey why did you cut the end off the roast? She said, that’s the way my mom taught me to cook a roast and it always turns out just fine. Not wanting to start an argument and spoil the evening he changes the subject.

After the meal was over he asked her mom, why do you cut the end of the roast off before you cook it? She said, I’m not sure, that’s just the way my mom taught me to cook a roast and it always turns out just fine.

So, she gets on the phone and calls her mom and asks her why she always cuts the end of the roast off? And she said, because my pan was too small to fit the whole roast in.

Some times there is a reason for the things we do and some times we do them for no good reason other than that was the way we were taught.

In the four seasons of marriage spring is great and summer is hard because one of two things is going to happen. You see the honeymoon is over now and the new has worn off the relationship. So, you will both fuss and argue about the small things until you split up or you will make a commitment to work it all out and stay together.

Fall Is Harvest Time

Once a heart felt commitment is made by both parties you move into the fall season of the four seasons of marriage. Divorce is not even an option any more and most of the little things are not worth fighting about. Fall can be as good as if not better than spring.

You will still have some disagreements but, there is just something reassuring after going through some rough times that you can work together now for the common good of the relationship. You both came into this with your own baggage and now it’s not his and hers any more it’s just ours.

Winter, Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snoooow

Ah, yes winter the forth season of the four seasons of marriage. This is where a Storybook marriage usually ends. And they lived happily ever after. This is the blissful part that takes most marriages years or decades to reach if they even get this far.

This is the best season because you know each others faults and you’ve learned to live with them. You can just be who you were created to be as well as your mate. No time is wasted trying to mold each other into some thing they weren’t meant to be.

There is love and peace in the home and it’s a place of refuge now and not a war zone any more. The sad part is not all that start out on this journey will make it. It’s not for every body; it takes a lot of work, communication, patience, love and understanding to make it through all of the four seasons of marriage.

Would you like some advice on how to speed up your summer so, you’ll have more time for the best two seasons of the four seasons of marriage?


  1. Disha
    Posted February 7, 2010 at 11:49 am | Permalink

    Hey,thanks for a fantastic article.I must say this site is wonderful.Waiting to read more like these in coming time.

  2. admin
    Posted February 7, 2010 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    I’ll keep writing if you’ll keep reading.

    Thanks for your kind words!

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