Money in Marriage

Money in Marriage

Friends are friends and Business is business but, when it comes to money in marriage now, that’s a whole different story. You’re mixing your best friend with your business.

Grant it money is not the biggest factor in most divorces but, it adds to the problems just the same.

If you got married young, you probably didn’t have much money and had to rent an apartment where the quarters were pretty small. So, you couldn’t help but run into each other every once in a while. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. One thing lead to another and good times were had by all.

And then you got better jobs and actually had some money in marriage. That’s not necessarily a bad thing either in it’s self. Your lives got a little easier for a while. That is, until you decided to buy a bigger house.

Then you met your neighbors and became friends. We’ll call them Mr and Mrs Jones. I’m sure you can see where this is going but, let’s continue anyway.

They invite you over for dinner and you find out they are younger than you. And they have newer cars than you drive. Their house is fixed up better than your’s is with the new flat screen TV and all the other things you’ve always wanted.

Hold on just a minute here! Keeping up with the Jones’s is really going to effect your money in marriage isn’t it? Are they really that much better off than you are? Do you know how hard they have to work to pay for those things? Is their relationship suffering because of all the over time they have to put in just to pay for that stuff?

It’s just human nature to be some what competitive and have or do better than others.

Money in marriage can be a root problem for a divorce but, most people don’t realize it. A root grows below the ground and is for the most part unseen.

There is a certain species of giant bamboo that takes about five years to grow. You don’t see anything grow above ground until the fifth year. You still have to water and fertilize it for the five years but, nothing seems to happen. Although the roots are growing the whole time. And in the fifth year it starts to grow about two foot a day and grows to eighty foot or more in just a few months.

Ok, I hear you! What’s that got to do with money in marriage? Well, nothing if you are both on the same page. And agree when to spend and not to spend.

Here is the problem! The love of money is the root of all evil. That’s Biblical but, most people just don’t get it! Money in of it’s self is neither good or bad. It’s what it means or represents to you that can be evil.

The American dollar is really worth only a few cents and it doesn’t matter if $100 or $1 is printed on it. The real value is pretty small. It cost the very same to print either one. (Where is the gold to back the dollar and where is the birth certificate Obama?) But, that’s beside the point. You wouldn’t work for $1.00 an hour but, you would jump at the chance to work for $100.00 an hour.

Money in marriage has some similarity’s. It’s all worthless if the relationship has gone down the drain. Most likely you didn’t marry for money! Hope you didn’t anyway! Didn’t work out so good for Anna Nichol Smith did it!

Hope you will forgive me if I get off the subject of money in marriage and just rant here for a little bit.

People will spend thousands of dollars for a lawyer for a divorce and go through with it and lose thousands more to their ex that they loved at one time. What Changed? Why is that? You don’t love them anymore? They did you wrong? Were they perfect when you married them? Where is the forgiveness?

Ok, money in marriage. Trying to keep up with the Jones’s. What did it get you? A bigger house more over time and less time with your mate. They worked more with someone else and maybe spent more time with them than you and things got out of hand.

And now you are ready to throw in the towel over that! Mistakes happen. Yes! It was wrong! But, are you willing  to give up that easy? Are you really ready to start over with someone else and take on all their baggage? Or just live alone for the rest of your life?

No! I don’t think that’s you! Keeping up with the Jone’s may have caused your money in marriage problems and now with your relationship all but over, money really is not a factor. Is it?

Money is great to have. After all it can buy a house but, it can’t buy a home filled with love. It can buy food but, you’ll be hungry in a few hours again. You can use it to make your house to look like the best one in the neighborhood but, looks aren’t everything if there is no peace and love in it.

The bottom line is money in marriage can make it or break it. There has to be open communication about your finances and goals together. Short term and long term. Like they say if you fail to plan ahead you plan to fail.

The fact is if you have a decent income you can have any thing you want with in reason. You just can’t have every thing you want right now. And trying to get it now with credit cards is a big mistake!

I’ve seen marriages break up and people that were making about 200k a year lose their homes over that! It’s sort of like those bamboo roots. You may get by with it for a few years but, one of these days that debt is going to grow so fast you won’t be able to keep up with the interest. That’s no way to handle money in marriage.

Now, if you happen to have several credit card debts. How to get out from under them the right way with out filing bankruptcy is to pay extra on the smallest one you have until it’s paid off. Then take what you were paying on the smallest one and add it to what you were paying on the next to smallest one until it’s gone too.

If you’ll keep adding what you were paying on the previous cards to the next one. You can keep your credit rating up and get them all paid off faster. But, whatever you do, don’t make your creditors call you for a payment! If you are going to be late, than be an adult enough to call them and tell them why. In most cases they will cut you some slack and not report it as late on your credit.

If you really want to get a handle on the money in marriage start your self an excel work sheet budget. It comes on Microsoft Windows. Just double click on the icon to open it up and you’ll see a blank page of rows and columns. On the left side will be numbers and across the top will be letters.

Here’s a link to a sample of how you can set this up to help you manage your money in marriage. You can have more than one income columns and what ever you spend money on make a title for it too. You can get as detailed as you like. So, at the end of the month or year, you will know how much money came in and where it all went.

It works best if you and your mate work together on this. Once you have it all set up it takes about five minutes a day to keep up to date with it. If you both have separate bank accounts you can just be accountable for the money that passes through your hands. But, at least you’ll know where you could cut back on expenses if you have to.

John Cummuta has an easy to follow step by step plan that can take you from Debt to Wealth. Now, depending on how much debt you have, it could take some time to get out from under it. But, if you don’t start working on it now, than when? Procrastination will only make it worse.

Where would you like to be a year from now as far as debt is concerned? With more of it or less? So, do yourself a favor and at least check out John’s plan and see if it’s right for you and take control of your money in marriage.

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