I Was Wrong

I Was Wrong

I was reading an article written by Rabbi Yaakov Salomon and he was talking about when he was listening to a speech by one of his friends. Sitting there fiddling with his finger nails out of boredom until the speaker ask the question; “What are the three most important words in a marriage?”  Now, he thought and so did I, that they would be “I love you” but, I was wrong.

What could possibly be three words more important for a marriage than I love you? After all isn’t that where it all starts? What’s the point of even getting married if you don’t love each other? Don’t we want to hear those words come from our mates mouth every once in awhile to be reassured that we are loved?

In my younger days when I got home from work the three most important words to me were, “what’s for dinner?” but, there again I was wrong. For some odd reason my wife hated that question even if it was preceded by I love you.

Knowing good and well I could just read a few more sentences and find out the answer to the question but, it was like a puzzle I wanted to solve for myself. How hard could it be? It’s only three words, that are most important in a marriage and the next sentence said it’s not, I love you.

Hmm Okay, so what else is as important as love? How about communication, commitment and trust that has to be the answer. That’s three words if you don’t count the and. Problem solved, right? No, I was wrong again. Although it has a lot to do with those things that wasn’t the answer the speaker gave.

It made perfectly good sense once I read the answer because, we hate to admit it to ourselves let alone our mate. Those three words are just so hard to say sometimes, even if they are true. Our pride or ego gets in the way of our tongue and won’t let them come out of our mouths.

At least half the heated arguments could end instantly and bring peace back into our home if one of us would just say those three words. In case you’re still wondering there’s really no trick to it at all and it’s not magic although, it works better than magic so, the words aren’t abracadabra or anything like that.

We all like to think that we are perfect but, my wife would correct me in a heart beat that I was wrong. And if by chance I was right she would admit it, if I could prove it to her, by saying, “you’re right like I usually am.” Just as well though because, it’s hard being perfect and nobody wants to live with someone that is, are think they are perfect anyway.

The problem with perfect people is some times they have to say things that are not necessarily true to keep up their persona. And the sad thing about that is their family and friends especially their mate see right through it anyway. Truth hurts at times but, lying kills a relationship.

Why do we get so self protective and end up being self destructive to our relationship in the process when all we have to do is say I was wrong?  Is it a fear of being less than perfect that causes us to be narcissistic rather than to humble ourselves and admit any fault?

The next time you find yourself pointing your finger to throw blame, just look at your own hand and count how many fingers are pointing back at yourself. Would it actually be a good time to say I was wrong?

Now that’s not to say you should admit to any wrong doing when you are right. Even though some times it would be easier than arguing but, that could cause other issues we won’t go into here.

I was wrong can be said in several different ways with three words. Like I wasn’t thinking, it’s my fault, I admit it, it was selfish, I messed up, or I’ll take responsibility. Then when followed by I am sorry or please forgive me can solve the issue right then and there.

In the process it can build trust, respect and credibility because, it takes a bigger person to admit when they’re wrong than trying to deny the truth. Trust can be given freely at first but, once it has been betrayed it is awful hard to get back.

It’s a whole lot easier to respect someone when they will own up to their mistakes and just say I was wrong, than someone that has to be right all the time. Most generally people are understanding and quite forgiving when they are told the truth.

However, it’s unacceptable, intolerable and a down right insult to their intelligence to be lied to. So, most people will not let you get away with it when you’re just too proud to say I was wrong, when all along you know you are.

Now, I’m sure none of my readers would do that but, some of you may have an obstinate mate that acts that way at times. Wouldn’t it be nice if they would just get over themselves and admit to being wrong, instead of having to drag it out of them?

How much better would your relationship be if that one problem was solved from the start? Chances are though that’s just one of many issues driving a wedge between you two. And they won’t go to a marriage counselor because, they’re afraid of being wrong.

That’s how Mort Fertel could help you since he is an alternative to a marriage counselor. He’s a marriage coach that has helped thousands of couples work through their problems to have a fulfilling relationship again.

And the best part is you won’t have to even leave your home to get his help. You could sign up for his conference calls or get his CD’s and work book. He’ll even give you a money back guarantee if it doesn’t help your relationship.

They say the best things in life are free and that’s true in most cases however, a relationship always costs something if it isn’t anything except time. But, how much time are you willing to spend with someone who has to be right and can’t say I was wrong?

The problem is you really don’t get to really know your mate until you live with them and by then you are attached. Then you figure out their faults and love them and can’t stand them at the same time.

By that time they realize you have your faults that aggravate them too so, they are most generally not going to listen to you, correcting them.  And God forbid that they would ever admit it and say I was wrong. It has happened before but, usually it takes an outside source to point it out to them. That’s where Mort comes in!

Mort’s marriage fitness program has a way of doing that for you so you don’t have to.

One Comment

  1. Posted January 16, 2014 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    Good response in return of this difficulty with firm
    arguments and explaining everything about that.

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