How Do You Forgive Christians Who Hurt You

How Do You Forgive

Christians Who Hurt You

Okay, that may be a weird title. How do you forgive Christians who hurt you? And to tell the truth I never really thought about it that way much before, someone typed that into Google and found this site. Thanks Google!

And I’m not really sure they got their question answered or where they ended up. If I was to take a guess it would probably be on the blog post titled Christians With Marriage Problems or maybe How to forgive and be forgiven.

I suppose as Christians we should be held to a higher standard. However, I’ve never met a perfect one and God knew we couldn’t be because; we are still just human after all.

The reason he sent his son Jesus was to set an example for us. He lived according to the Ten Commandments and was sinless in God’s eyes yet; he offended the scribes and Pharisees by calling them hypocrites.

He would call right, right and wrong, wrong. Back then there was no such thing as being politically correct. And some of the ones that were doing wrong just took offense and others changed their ways to do what was right once it was pointed out to them.

Jesus was all into forgiveness though. When Peter asked him how many times he should forgive his brother a day and added seven times? Jesus told him no, seventy times seven. Peter wasn’t an educated guy so 490 may have seemed like a million to him. In other words just keep forgiving.

So, how do you forgive Christians who hurt you? Just like you would anybody else, just because they are a Christian really has nothing to do with it. Forgiving them is more for you than them anyway.

Think about it for a second, if somebody does you wrong and they just move on and forget about it. Who are you really hurting holding a grudge and unforgiveness?

Isn’t it funny how the human mind works? We can’t remember what we ate for dinner three weeks ago but, yet we can remember an offense three years or even thirty years later. If you want to be more like God, then do what He does and throw it in the sea of forgetfulness.

We have no problem doing it with other things of less importance to us. Why do we put so much value on an offense and want to carry it around like a treasure? When it’s actually more like carrying a cancer around or trying to swim with a backpack full of rocks. Unforgiveness will affect all our other relationships.

So, why do we like to carry around unforgiveness for other people’s offenses to us? Does it give us a sense of self worth like a small boy would carry around a pocket full of marbles or a little girl a baby doll? Knowing this belongs to me and I can play with it any time I want to.

At least children learn different things by playing with their toys and after awhile they out grow them and move on to something else. As adults shouldn’t we be at least as smart as children and learn a lesson or two from an offense and move on.

Since the question was, how do you forgive Christians who hurt you? Let’s see what Jesus had to say about that. Paraphrasing here; Jesus said if you want forgiveness from God you have to forgive others. If you want your prayers answered you have to forgive others.

In the Lord’s Prayer it says “and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Now, do you think He would tell us to do an impossible task? Although, He never said it would be hard or easy he just said do it basically for our own good.

When I first started out building houses one of the jobs I used to hate with a passion was putting in heat runs. It consisted of about a day to two days crawling around underneath the house stringing up heat ducts to every room.

However, after awhile with a little practice and experience my attitude changed about it. I decided it was only a two day job at the most and it had to be done anyway you looked at it because, nobody is going to buy a new home without heat or air conditioning.

Knowing that I’m so far from perfect it’s almost pathetic so, I need forgiveness at times too. Now, this is just my thinking about forgiveness and if you have a better one I sure would like to hear it! So, leave me a comment if you do.

Attitude, happiness and forgiveness are all a choice that everyone makes consciously or unconsciously. So, why not make a conscious choice ahead of time, instead of just waiting on our reactions to circumstances that are out of our control.

As long as we are on this earth someone is going to offend us, try to steal our happiness and try giving us a bad attitude from time to time. We can be like an outfielder and be ready to catch anything that comes our way or let that negative stuff roll off us like water does on a ducks back.

So, I make a conscious choice every day to forgive anybody that has ever done me wrong and anybody that ever will do me wrong. And hold no malice, grudges or hard feelings and be happy no matter what happens that day.

Now, it’s just like anything else, some days are better and easier than others. Once you’ve set your course and know where you plan to end up at the end of the day, you’ll be less likely to let some clueless person do the driving for you.

Why end up in a rut of self pity over someone Else’s actions? Who is really in control over our life then? Weren’t we given a free will of our own? Why are we so easily deceived and willing to give up our control for just an offense?

Sometimes we’ll get so stuck on the here and now and forget about the effects and consequences of later. I’ve heard it taught that unforgiveness can affect your health. Personally I never really proved it right or wrong myself.

It wouldn’t be hard though. You could if you want to. Just go to a nursing home and look for somebody with bad arthritis and just ask them if they hate or used to hate someone. Hate is a sure sign of unforgiveness. Then ask the same question to someone without arthritis.

Chances are you will find out that unforgiveness and bitterness has worked on their body over the years. The point is, if you are a Christian you have got to forgive anyway so, why carry it around for longer than a day?

We have to just get over it when there is nothing we can do about it. Sometimes life’s not fair! I know it vacuums, that’s just how it is!

My daily goal is to be a blessing to at least one person and not offend anybody and if I can make an honest living at the same time it’s all good. I’ve learned a long time ago that nobody can offend you unless you let them. And since I already chose to forgive them anyway, I just don’t let them.

I’ve been trying to make this not too preachy for any non believers that may read this. However, my Bible says “vengeance is mine saith the Lord and I will repay.”

And oh brother can I testify to that! One manager at a place I worked almost got me killed and within six months he committed suicide. Another fellow did me wrong big time however, it wasn’t entirely all his doing so, I let it go. The last I heard of him, he had a brain tumor. I wouldn’t have wished that on either one of them.

The way I look at it is we all plant seeds in one way or another by every thing we do for others or to others. Most people don’t realize that. An act of kindness is a good seed and an offense is a bad seed.

The Bible says you reap what you sow. If, someone wants to offend me I have to assume they want a harvest from that. So, by forgiving them whether they ask for it or not, is my job and in the process I’m adding a little water and fertilizer to their crop for them.

Now, it’s really up to them if they want to apologize and plow the bad crop under and start a new crop or sit back and wait for their harvest. There is no shame in admitting I was wrong. In fact people will respect us more when we do.

If we stop and think about it we need those people that offend us. We don’t have to appreciate the offense though. They are actually helping us in other ways because, we can’t keep the grocery stores, gas stations or power companies open all by ourselves.

It takes a bigger person to just step around an offense than it does to bend over, pick one up, take it to heart and carry it around. There are just some things not worth the trouble to own.

How do you forgive Christians who hurt you?

Can I get an Amen or at least a comment?

Either way or no way I won’t take offense.

Be Blessed!

11 Comments

  1. Posted May 21, 2010 at 3:53 am | Permalink

    Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

  2. Posted January 24, 2011 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

    I love back2gether.com! Here I always find a lot of helpful information for myself. Thanks you for your work.

    Best regards

  3. Posted August 8, 2011 at 8:43 am | Permalink

    This post was so useful. This post can help those people who were hurt by Christians or even a person who are not a Christian.

    Chris: I thought so too Noel. That’s why I put it on the web to share with whoever would bother to read it. And thanks for following the comment policy.

  4. Posted June 12, 2012 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    This is excellent advice and wonderfully written too.
    Many thanks for the work you put in to sharing this with everyone.

  5. Posted April 3, 2013 at 2:43 am | Permalink

    Good point. Forgiving someone is healing for the individual doing the forgiving. I have always believed that so many health issues come to people who cant forgive others.

  6. Bryan Masche
    Posted May 22, 2013 at 5:43 am | Permalink

    What do you do though when that Christian is the one who led you to Christ? When they have committed adultery and destroyed your family and almost got your children taken from you when you did nothing wrong. When you have had to fight every step of the way to not only rebuild your life by your very well being psychologically as a person not to mention the financial and other issues the person has rocked and they go on blissfully as if nothing has ever happened they marry the person they had an affair with then they have a baby with them and really nothing major has happened to them. Everything that was in the scriptures about Adultery is false because nothing has happened and it almost been 3 years?? I want REAL answers not just lollipop pie in the sky stuff?? How do I find them because God ain’t answering me?

    Chris: Hey Bryan, without going into any detail I’ll just say I’ve been through some of your scenario myself and I know first hand the mental anguish it causes is almost unbearable. But, you can rest assured the scriptures about adultery are in fact true and they’re not just lollipop pie in the sky stuff. I’ve watched what has happened to people who’ve committed adultery over the years and noticed their punishment isn’t always swift but, it’s usually severe. It’s in our human nature to want to see justice served now. Fortunately God is a merciful God and his timing isn’t the same as ours. Some things are just out of our control so we have to let go of them. As long as we’re holding on to unforgiveness we’re allowing hard feelings and malice to eat away at us. And there’s nothing of value to gain by it either. The offender just lives his blissful life not caring about how we feel. But, when we forgive the offender we’re handing it off to God and He’ll see that justice is served in his timing. And I pity the fool when it happens.

  7. Posted July 3, 2013 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    I struggled with un-forgiveness and bitterness for years. While growing up, I was taught that it was best to hold onto grudges in order to get even.

    But this eats away at our souls! There is nothing better than releasing a matter to our God. He is the only one qualified to judge in any instance.

    Therefore, when we choose to look to Jesus and love in spite of what others do and say around us, we are truly made free. And the light of God will shine to others around us.

  8. Posted August 1, 2013 at 6:16 pm | Permalink

    You forgive the same way as if they were not Christians. All humans have value to God, whether they offend or not. You bring up some good points, like it is a choice. Like a comment above said, it is good to have this kind of post go around the Internet instead of what people hear nowadays. Keep up the good work spreading the message.

  9. Posted October 28, 2013 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

    I think that no mater if someone is Christian or not you must forgive them in order to be forgiven by our father. Forgiving is so hard but holding onto the pain is far worse. God bless you and thank you for this article.

  10. Posted March 5, 2014 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    Great thought…Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.I really like this article’s thought.

  11. Posted June 15, 2014 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    Thanks for sharing this information, One thing i have learned is that learn how to forgive.

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