Marriage is Not for Losers

Marriage is Not for Losers

Yes, you read that right. Marriage is not for losers. No body expects to win all the time and no one wants to feel like a loser all the time either. When one of the partners is made to feel like they’re worthless by their mate they will look for a way to escape that marriage.

Since everyone is a little different escape can mean about anything to them. From just avoiding their partner to excessive TV watching or video gaming, abusing drugs or alcohol, working as much overtime as they can or having an emotional or physical affair, filing for divorce or even to going as far as committing suicide.

Since marriage is not for losers, how do we keep our mate from feeling like that? Actually there are several things that can be done to solve that problem. And it should start by putting yourself in their shoes or in other words just treat them the way that you would like to be treated is the simplest way.

Most people aren’t stupid but, we all do stupid things every now and then. So, what do you think would happen if you tried cutting each other a little slack and did a little forgiving instead of making a big deal over it? You could say something like “we all make mistakes” instead, to relieve some of the pressure.

And if you mess up yourself just admit it and get it out in the open. How hard is it to just say I was wrong? Who knows it may be good for a laugh. If you can’t laugh at yourself then you have no right to laugh at others. In the process you are setting an example on how to handle mistakes and building trust at the same time.

Trust can be lost by being stubborn and not willing to admit your own mistakes and blaming someone else. However, the truth has a way of coming to light eventually and most falsehoods have a way of biting you in the rear. Now that could make you a real loser and marriage is not for losers after all.

And then common courtesies can go a long way to keep someone from feeling worthless also. All it takes is a little appreciation for the little things. Like when they pass you the salt shaker by just saying thank you you’re acknowledging them and showing that your value their efforts.

Please and thank you are so under rated when they actually mean so much. There are a lot of folks expecting things to be done for them and in return won’t take a few seconds to show that they are grateful however, the smart folks realize the value of showing appreciation and when they do then they won’t even have to ask for things.

The bottom line is people will go way out of their way to feel valued, appreciated  or acknowledged even by strangers however, if they have been trained by their mate and already know there’s no gratitude to be gained then they won’t do squat.

So, without appreciation or gratitude you or your mate could end up feeling like a loser and we already know that marriage is not for losers. Nobody wants to feel like that!

This whole marriage thing is really not that hard once you know a few tricks. And another one would be unless you are just kidding and it is obvious you are, just forget all the sarcasm. Too many hurt feelings can come from that.

The word sarcasm comes from a Greek word that means to tear the flesh. As kids we used to say sticks and stones will break my bones but, words can never hurt me.

The problem is its soooo untrue when hurtful words come from someone we love, respect and trust like our mate. It cuts us straight to the heart. And makes us feel bad about ourselves and takes away the incentive to come home.

Unless you are one of those couples that just like to fight. The problem with that is usually one of you will get tired of it sooner or later and look for a way out of the relationship or seek advice on how to make it better before it’s too late.

If that sounds like you and money is tight right now this blog has a lot of free common sense help for relationships and all it costs you is time. If you can’t find the answers you are looking for here, my friend Amy wrote a book called Save My Marriage Today. I’ll leave a link to it at the end if you are interested.

Her e-book is full of unique methods that are easy-to-follow and covers any situation that you could possibly have. Here are just a few of the things she covers.

  • unresolved conflicts
  • extra-marital affairs
  • lack of intimacy
  • excessive fighting
  • ineffective or not enough communication
  • not enough quality time for busy schedules
  • a suffocating partner
  • children issues
  • trial separations
  • and several more complex and difficult situations

Before I end this post I’d like to say I appreciate all my readers and a thank you to all you folks that leave comments of encouragement. And a special thank you to all those that buy the books I recommend to help pay for hosting.

I hope this blog has helped you with your relationship or at least give you something to think about. I wish you the very best and may you turn your situation into a win/win for both of you because, marriage is not for losers!

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