After the Affair

After the Affair

If you were the one being cheated on after the affair your head is probably spinning with emotions. And we’ll get into those in a minute, for now though stop beating yourself up over it because; it wasn’t your entire fault.

Maybe you didn’t do everything just right however, your mate could have said something to you when they were just thinking about having an affair. Where was the communication on their part? Don’t let them throw the blame for their infidelity on you to give you a guilt complex!

They were the one that kept all the secrets and cheated, not you! Hopefully they realized their mistake and told you about it instead of you having to figure it out on your own. Either way it doesn’t make it hurt any less however, a confession often means repentance and they want to make it right with you.

Okay, with all the emotions going off in your head right now. You’re saying there is No possible way they can make it right! And I can understand how you feel without admitting I’ve been there myself. Think what you want to think but, I know how it feels!

It’s like having your heart ripped out of your chest. The feeling of disappointment and betrayal is almost unbearable. Death would almost be preferable to that. At least you wouldn’t have to deal with all the pain.

After the affair is never easy for the offended or the offender. Either way it’s going to be life changing. And it all depends on how you deal with it whither it will be a good ending or bad. Sometimes it’s better to overcome the shock and disappointment before you say anything.

It’s so easy to fall into the emotional anger trap and finish off the marriage right then and there with your words. This happens way too often. And that’s just human nature after being cheated on so, no one could blame you for it, except maybe you.

The problem is that may not be what you really want. Having to deal with the depression and embarrassment you’ll be trying to explain away when your friends and family finds out what happened.

After the affair there is jealousy, uncertainty, shame, loss of hope and trust. And the unbearable pain can be over whelming. Now, is the time you have to make a choice. Whither you are going to give up or make this relationship even better.

It may seem like your marriage is over but, that’s not your goal or you wouldn’t be here right now. I’ve been wrong before so, it won’t be the first time however; I have trouble believing it’s the case this time because, you’re still reading and looking for answers.

And I won’t claim to have all the answers you’re looking for here at least, not in one blog post. Although I have counseled a few folks and they are still together after the affair. However, I personally don’t have the credentials to actually be a counselor. So, the best I can do on this site is point you to an expert that does and what you do from there is all up to you.

I’m so, sorry there’s no time machine to take you back to change things before they got out of hand. You’ll actually have to go through this growing experience to make it better. I’ll guarantee it won’t be the easiest or best experience you’ve ever had. However, if you don’t give up on your marriage this could end up bringing you closer together.

If you want to know how to survive after an affair you could befriend an older couple that’s gone through infidelity themselves. Maybe they would be willing to share with you what they did. Go through marriage counseling if your partner is willing. Twenty years ago it was only $40 an hour.

Or you could sign up for a free 7 part mini course and see if surviving after an affair is for you.  Are any of these things haunting you right now?

  • How to erase the images from your mind…
  • How to rebuild your self-esteem…
  • How to talk about the details…
  • How to find out why it happened…
  • Why you don’t need to forgive…
  • 10 things you must do TODAY…
  • How to decide if you should stay or go…

Just click the link to discover your answers to How to Survive an Affair.

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