Reasons and Excuses Why Affairs Happen

Reasons and Excuses Why Affairs Happen

Reasons and excuses why affairs happen are only limited by the imaginations of the cheaters. Some of them are so irrational because they didn’t take the time to stop and think it out. They have no real substance and more holes than Swiss cheese.

But infidelity is insane enough so we won’t get into the crazy excuses. Since we already covered the real reason why affairs happen in a previous post we’ll dig a bit deeper in this one for badmash. (Badmash is a reader of this blog that asked for more on this subject)

Reasons Why Affairs Happen Starting With Lack

Lack of Morals: We all know the difference between right and wrong. Even a cheater doesn’t like being cheated on and knows it’s wrong.

Lack of Respect: If we truly respected our mate we couldn’t put them through the pain and all the gut wrenching emotions by cheating on them.

Lack of Commitment: When we got married we made a commitment to our mate to love, honor and cherish them not to a friend with benefits.

Lack of integrity: Without honesty our word is no good and we can’t be trusted because we may be lying to cover up the last lie. The truth will come out it’s just a matter of time.

Lack of Self Discipline: Infidelity is a prime example of being out of control. When we want something so bad we are willing to compromise our standards for it and hurt the ones we love in the process then we have some self destructive issues going on.

Lack of Self-Esteem: When we want to play the field just to see if we still have what it takes that’s a low self esteem problem.

Lack of Affection: Quite often when the home work isn’t being done at home because of other commitments it turns into a reason or excuse why affairs happen.

Lack of Accountability: Making up excuses to leave the house or taking off from work early to meet a friend with benefits is not being accountable.

Lack of Understanding: To have an affair is not using good judgment. In fact if we would stop and think about it, the bad out weighs the good when the truth comes out.

Lack of Responsibility: We are all responsible for our own actions and how they affect others, especially our mate.

Lack of conscience: When our conscience is working we couldn’t conspire against our mate to betray them by having an affair.

Lack of Focus: If we would put the same amount of energy into our own marriage as we do in having an affair the third person wouldn’t be necessary.

Lack of Concern: There is no way we can justify having an affair to our mate by saying I did it out of concern for you honey. Our mate’s feelings were the least of our worries.

Lack of Common Sense: With only enough intelligence to be able to tie our shoes common sense would tell us having an affair is going to bring on too much drama.

Lack of Restraint: Just because we could; doesn’t mean we should.

Lack of Boundaries: Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal to a mate and breaks the marriage contract. And the media glorifies it as an excepted lifestyle by the TV shows it puts on.

The sad fact is we can all be susceptible under the right situation and circumstance to yield to the temptation of infidelity. It doesn’t make it any less wrong or less hurtful to our mate it just means there was a chink in the armor of our character.

Lack doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t have any. It could mean we just didn’t use what we did have to its full potential. And when problems occur because of it; corrections can be made in the weak areas.

A house will eventually collapse in on its self if no maintenance is ever done to it too. And it could start with something as small as a leak in the roof. It’s an obvious problem when someone is at home paying attention and knows what signs to look for.

If not the leak can continue, find its way to an electrical box, shorting it out, causing a fire, burning down the house until it collapses in on its self and on whoever may be inside not paying attention to what’s going on around them.

A marriage and a house have several things in common. Such as: They may be similar but, there are never two exactly the same. A house is just a house and a marriage is just a marriage, it takes a couple working together to make it a home.

They all require some maintenance to keep them working to their fullest potential. They don’t come with instruction manuals for what signs to look for to avoid major issues. Or how to correct them if one does occur.

And like a house we invest time, energy and emotions in our marriage. Should we just walk away from it and let it all cave in over a few problems that seem big to us? Or should we repair the damage and get on with the more pleasant things life has to offer?

The biggest problem with walking away from our marriage is the regret we feel later because that really didn’t solve anything. The unanswered questions tend to haunt us for years and can cause more sleepless nights than an infestation of bedbugs.

All the what if’s, the why’s, where did I go wrong, did I give up too easy and the worst one yet, what is wrong with me for them to cheat with someone else? Dr. Huizenga in his book “Break Free From the Affair” helps us answer all these questions and more.

He’ll give you the best rebuttals for the most common used excuses cheaters give for their actions. And even help you decide if your marriage is going to be worth the hassle you can expect to repair it, depending on their excuse.

When you grab your copy of Dr. Huizenga’s “Break Free From the Affair” he’ll give you two other helpful books for your relationships. “How to Get Over it for Good” explains the best way to handle confrontations hard to talk about safely and constructively.

In “The Cheating Spouse Guide” you’ll discover the answers to questions like: What are the signs of a cheating spouse, how to tell when they’re lying, how to catch them in the act and the not so obvious mistakes a cheater makes to stop them in their tracks.

Dr. Huizenga’s book is worth reading for all couples whether they’re living through an infidelity nightmare now or want to be informed ahead of time to avoid all the reasons and excuses why affairs happen.

Pick up your copy today and Break Free From the Affair.

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