Marriage Business – Advice for Married Women Feeling Unloved

Marriage Business

Advice for Married Women Feeling

Unloved

What can a marriage learn from business? Well, actually a lot once you examine their methods. Some of them can be applied to your marriage. Most of their techniques are hidden in plain sight for anyone to see. All you have to do is look for them.

In fact marriage and business have quite a few similarities. When undertaken with an entrepreneur’s mindset marriage can be a win/win deal for both partners. Attempted without a business mentality you’re just working from a love conquers all plan and heading for a marriage mess.

As sweet and yet naive as that plan sounds, what’s plan B if the love runs out?  What’s the plan for making love last so, it won’t run out? Unlike a business, a marriage doesn’t need an exit strategy because that’s just planning for a failing marriage.

Now, lawyers love prenuptial agreements. Because they get paid to write them and if it goes to court, they benefit again to defend it. And one of their colleagues prospers to contend it.

However, if you feel a need for a prenuptial agreement you’re either planning for and setting up an exit strategy or you really don’t know your intended well enough to marry yet.

An entrepreneur would look at this marriage business from all sides before they bought into it. And obviously the attractor factor would come into play right from the get go because if there’s no attraction there’s not going to be a transaction.

But like a business there are a lot more factors to consider than just appearance before jumping into a marriage head first. For instance: is this person honest and trust worthy? Are they someone you can work and be compatible with?

Will the partnership be more of an asset to you both or a liability? Any entrepreneur would tell you they want to choose an associate with strengths to compensate for their weaknesses to accomplish the mutual goals. There’s a book called 1000 Questions for Couples to see where the troubles are likely to come from so, you won’t get blindsided later.

A marriage is supposed to be more than an occupation that can be changed out of boredom or because of money. It’s a life long contract with your partner. Marriage is a commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

In a business money is the currency that keeps it going and in a marriage the currency is love. And any good business person knows the currency will stop flowing and the business goes under if their customer’s needs aren’t met.

And it works similar with your mate in a marriage. A successful business knows the importance of understanding their market they’re trying to sell to. Because it’s constantly changing it has to be monitored through researching and surveying.

It’s the same in a marriage, but we call that communication. In both cases it’s easy to assume you’re harmonious when currency is being exchanged. However, that’s not always true.

Just because a previous customer gets a little body work done at your auto dealership doesn’t mean they’ll buy their next car from you. Especially if they feel you’re not giving them enough public relations attention when the dealer down the road makes them feel special.

And isn’t that, what people are all about? Doesn’t everybody want to feel special? In a business or marriage you’re still going to be dealing with people. And they all have feelings and emotions. Some folks are more verbal in expressing them than others.

And the others will just take their business down the road without saying a word if they feel slighted. In marriage we call that an affair. In either case it’s bad for business.

Nothing will stop the flow of currency faster than a sales clerk trying to sell an eight track tape to an IPod owner. Except, a spouse not communicating and keeping up on their home work with their mate.

Success in marriage and business really boils down to feelings, return on investment and interest. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, customer or spouse, if you feel you’re not getting a good return on your investment you’re going to lose interest.

Once you lose interest your heart isn’t in it anymore and the currency stops flowing. It’s not necessarily the end of a business or a marriage. It just means the research or communication was being neglected and needs weren’t being met.

The flow of currency is your scorecard and has to be checked often so things don’t start going in the wrong direction. And the surest way to always have the best scores is to have a through understanding of the people and currency you’re dealing with.

In America both love and money is only based on a belief, (because money still spends) personal value that people put on it them selves, and trust. They agree to work for a certain amount of money that’s not really backed by anything like gold or silver anymore.

But, on a belief that someone else will exchange it for goods or services seems to keep them working anyway. How they spend it all depends on if they feel they’re getting their values worth. If they don’t and feel cheated the merchant looses their trust and their business.

In marriage the currency is still based on a belief but it’s backed up by a life long promise said in the wedding vows. To love and to cherish, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

The sad part about it is, the belief in the currency of money, even though it’s not backed by anything except social acceptance anymore, still has a better track record than the promise made in a wedding vow.

However, the value of the promise is still there as long as it can be believed. Any good entrepreneur knows value comes from belief and belief comes from feelings. Yep, that’s how humans work. We use feelings to make choices and logic to justify them.

Let’s use the auto dealership again for an example. People do need transportation after all. A 1970, $300.00 Volkswagen is transportation, but most people would feel ashamed riding around in an old bug that should be in the scrap yard. To justify it they say it may not be dependable.

So, instead they go out and buy a brand new $45,000 SUV to make them feel more secure… more confident… more successful… Knowing good and well it deprecated in value the minute they drove it off the lot.

And to use their logic to justify the purchase they say, they need a safe vehicle to haul the kids around in. They already believed their currency was good. So, all the auto dealer has to do is communicate to win their trust and help them feel they were getting their values worth.

Whether it’s in marriage or business people like to spend their currency. And they’ll give you all they have now and even borrow from their future to give you more, if you can give them a reasonable excuse for their logic to make their feelings tangible.

Lotteries, Los Vegas and Disneyland know their business and they’ve got this perfected. They understand how the power of human emotions will over ride logic. And people will find a way to justify their decision when they can buy into a dream they can feel.

Isn’t that what, marriage is all about? People buy into a dream and want a storybook marriage. The problem is for a lot of folks it ends up more of a nightmare. Mostly because they don’t know how to keep the currency flowing.

The issue starts about the time communications stops. Usually because of one of the partners has taken offense about something. Sometimes it can be solved by something as simple as saying I was wrong.

Other times there just have to be arguments in marriage to get it worked out. Believe it or not this could be a healthy thing as long as it’s done in private and doesn’t get too emotional.

According to Robert Plank humans have 8 basic emotions:

Joy, Trust, Anticipation, Surprise — 4 Positive Feelings

Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust ——- 4 Negative Feelings

All the rest of the emotions originate from one or more of these in lesser or greater intensity. So, in an argument, marriage or business success depends on overcoming the negatives and promoting the positive feelings.

Let’s look at the lottery, casinos, and Disneyland and see how they do it. You can buy a lottery ticket for just one dollar. If you worked for 6 dollars an hour it only costs you 10 minutes worth of work to potentially retire for the rest of your life.

Most people wouldn’t have too much fear of starving to death over the loss of a dollar. And if they feel angry, sadness or disgust because of it, they’ll usually get over it in about 10 minutes anyway, and buy another ticket again in the future.

But for the joy of having the dream of being extremely rich they can feel anticipation of the possibilities for their future. After buying their ticket knowing they could win will still be a surprise if they do.

And from hearing about others getting big checks they trust they will too, if they’ve picked the right numbers. True logic would tell them their chances of being struck by lighting are far greater, but they justify it by saying it’s only a buck.

Casinos have to use some different tactics to diminish the negative feelings and enhance the positive ones. They spare no expense on the design, layout, fixtures, colors and carpeting to make people feel comfortable.

With all the sights and sounds and the feeling of living in luxury, as soon as you walk in, most if not all the anger, sadness and disgust is left at the door. And the way they neutralize the fear and magnify the joy, trust, anticipation and surprise is a work of art.

They use just enough social proof to show you that winning is possible. The bells and whistles are going off on the slot machines where somebody just won. At the gaming tables somebody else is whooping it up and getting a pile of chips pushed toward them.

They make you feel right at home with a sense of belonging and fitting right in by giving you free drinks and great meals for a cheap price. With all the staff waiting on you, you feel like an owner, although if you don’t set a spending limit and stay too long you’ll realize you were just an investor.

However if you lose a lot at the tables they love you and want you to come back and try again. So, they’ll leave a good taste in your mouth by giving you complimentary meals or a free room for a night. To encourage you to revisit and help you justify your expenses as a small price for having a good time.

Disneyland uses some of the same motivators with their lavish theme parks. One of the big differences is they are family oriented and cater to kids of all ages. They have a way of making imaginations come alive for kids.

One of their catch phrases in their advertising is “Where Dreams Come True”. And they go all out to make it happen, so much so it takes more than one day to take in all the sites.

With the larger than life experience they turn some of the fear into fun with their rides. And once you get past the price of admission all the anger, sadness and disgust is none existent.

Before you arrive the anticipation for kids is almost unbearable. And once you’re there the joy and trust is evident by the smiles on all the faces. With something new to see around every corner surprises are everywhere your eye can see.

Every last detail has been thought out to make sure anyone who comes for a visit has a wonderful time. Their goal is not only to get new visitors but repeat visitors as well. One way to do that is to make a lasting impression on you.

With novelties shops all around. So, you can pick up souvenirs to take home to make sure you’ll remember the fun you had. When kids grow up (not that we really do) and have their own kids. They’ll want to create memories with their own children at Disneyland.

Where businesses and marriages both fail is in comprehending the importance of promoting the positive feelings with their prospects to encourage them to be repeat customers. And doing all they can to obstruct any negative feelings.

Any successful entrepreneur will use all available means to improve their systems. So, they can do their best to give their customers more value for their currency. They’ll buy books; trade magazines, go to seminars, conventions or take training classes.

They’re not afraid to make investments for the future of their company. Some will even go as far as tearing down their building and rebuild it better on the same lot, just to improve their customers experience with them.

Because they realized the competition was doing it better than they were and their customers were being serviced down the road. If they didn’t make some changes they would have gone out of business for good.

A failing business or marriage is a stubborn one. They refuse to learn, grow or accept any kind of change even if it is for the better. They won’t accept advise from others who know how to keep the currency flowing.

They refuse to take responsibility for their choices of goods or services they’re trying to sell at a price no one is willing to pay. After all, it’s a whole lot easier to blame others than it is to admit they were wrong.

What’s the worst thing that could happen to an entrepreneur anyway? They go bankrupt and give up the reins of their own business. Then find a job and work for someone else. Being over worked and under paid with no say in how the company is run.

For a marriage, you could still live together with no currency exchange and wait for an affair to add more misery to the marriage. Or get a divorce, lose all the time you’ve invested into the relationship and split the assets with your mate and a pair of lawyers.

Down size your home and stay single or find a new mate. Someone that would be willing to buy what you’re trying to sell, at your price. And start all over again. In the process you’re just trading one set of problems for another set.

All that could be avoided by listening to your market or mate to find out how you could sweeten the deal and add more perceived value for them. Everybody wants to feel like they’re getting a bargain when they give their currency in exchange for something.

McDonald’s figured this out with their kid’s meals. All they had to do was give it a nice name and throw in an inexpensive toy and they ended up with a hot seller called the Happy Meal.

Sometimes all it takes is just a small little tweak to improve a marriage or a business. McDonald’s has made millions over the years after making one change. By asking one little question to their customers “Would you like fries with that?”

With that one question, they gave people an option and people like options. In the process they improved their chances of selling them fries by 50%. Once they experienced the taste of them they usually became repeat customers.

McDonald’s didn’t always have the happy meal or ask their world famous question but they weren’t afraid to try something new. Now, if they would have kept doing the same old thing they probably would be still selling hamburgers. It’s doubtful they would be one of the top leaders of fast food restaurants in the world though.

The point is whether you have a marriage or a business there is always room for some improvements. And if you’re not open for a few tweaks here and changes there every once in awhile, you’ll be like the Maytag repair man, all alone.

Currency whether it’s love or money won’t grow on its own. If that was the case we’d all have money trees growing in our back yards. Too bad, it doesn’t work that way. It takes exchange with other emotional feeling creatures called people. Which can be fun at times and yet challenging at others.

And the better you are at discerning the people you’re doing business with, the easier it is to make an exchange a win/win deal. People are all different in so many ways but, one thing they all have in common is their desire to avoid pain and gain pleasure.

When you can figure out how to sell that consistently to your customers or mate you’ll have a successful business or marriage. Which is a whole lot easier to accomplish when you can appreciate what causes them pain and gives them pleasure.

In business time is money and in marriage love is time. In either case their currency you want to exchange something for involves their time. How they value their time is going to be weighed against what you are offering them in return.

Everyone’s value system is going to be different. A $130 an hour lawyer may not have a problem giving 10,000 dollars for a Rolex watch. When a $6 an hour dishwasher may have a hard time giving up 10 dollars for a Timex.

When I was locksmithing years ago, a guy driving a new Cadillac came in to the shop to buy a key for his car and complained about the price. The next guy driving an old beater bought two keys for his and was happy to pay the price.

That was about 25 years ago but it struck me as so odd. That a more prosperous guy would gripe about $1.25 key and only buy one, when the other guy had no problem with buying two.

After thinking about it, the attitude they have or mood someone is in at the time can change their values on the way they spend their currency. Unless you’ve been with them for the last few hours, there’s no way to know why they feel the way they do.

So, a smart entrepreneur or a spouse trying to make an exchange has to have twice as good of an attitude to compensate for the other person’s lacking at times. If you really believe in what you’re trying to sell, then show some enthusiasm because enthusiasm is contagious.

You’ve actually been selling something your whole life in one way or another. Ever since you were born and probably didn’t realize it. All selling is, is just communicating with others to make an exchange for something you have that they want for something they have that you want. And making them feel good about the trade.

As a baby you cried to communicate to your parents you were ready to make an exchange. You wanted to trade for a bottle or clean diaper. And your parents were willing to do business with you because they wanted a healthy happy baby. And a quite baby is always a bonus, and you threw it in for free. You’re one smart kid!

So, you can see you’ve been doing this all your life. Your methods have changed over the years by practicing different ones and finding out what worked best for you. If you’re not living better because of it than either your method isn’t working or you’re promoting the wrong thing to your market.

Whether you’re in a marriage or a business you have to promote what your customer or mate wants at a price they’re willing to pay. Otherwise they may walk out and get something they do want at their price from your competitor.

The only way you wouldn’t have a competitor would be, you’re promoting something no one else has anything similar to offer or something nobody wants. Other than that you need a USP, a unique selling proposition.

Kentucky Fried Chicken has their original recipe of their secret 11 herbs and spices to make their chicken “finger lickin good” and taste different than anybody else’s. They make you feel at home with their country cookin.

Timex makes inexpensive durable watches that “can take a licking and keep on ticking”. Maytag makes washing machines, dryers, and dishwashers so dependable the “Maytag repairman is the loneliest man in town”.

It’s hard to come up with an original product or service. And then come up with a benefit loaded catchy slogan to promote it with. However, you are unique one of a kind person and when you add a touch of enthusiasm with your own personality you’re on the right track.

People like to do business with people they know, like and trust. That’s not to say they won’t buy from a complete stranger. But, if their friend was selling something similar they would go to their friend first.

Getting people to know you is the easy part. All you have to do is simply communicate with them for awhile and they’ll have a feeling they know you. Maybe even well enough to do business with you.

To have people like you is another story; you have to keep in mind you only get one shot to make a first impression. If you put a smile on your face have a good attitude and can get them to laugh your chances are pretty good they will.

However, there will always be a few that won’t like you no matter what you do. Maybe they were just having a bad day, who knows? That’s just people and you can’t force somebody to like you if their mind is already made up they don’t!

That’s what competitors are good for anyway so, let them deal with those few.

As far as trust goes, just be honest and give them the best offer you possible can. Show them you can appreciate their situation and that you have their best interest at heart and you want to help them fulfill their need or desire they came to you for.

If you want to make an exchange with someone in business or in marriage, and can explain their benefits enough so they can feel a true value to them in it, you’ll make the deal. Otherwise they’ll think you’re just in it for your self and don’t care about them.

Because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Nobody likes to feel robbed. And they will fight harder to keep what they have more than they will for something they want.

Everybody feels they work hard for their currency and don’t mind doing it. But nobody wants to work any harder than they have to. So, make doing business with you as easy as you possibly can for them.

Have you ever heard of an auto dealer saying, sign here and you can drive this car home today if you put X money down, make 36 hard payments and it’s yours? No? And you never will because they’re always easy payments.

Big chain stores like Wal-Mart have easy figured out. Their goal is to get people into their stores to spend their currency with them. With the entrance doors well marked they took the mystery out of how to get in.

When you walk up to the door it automatically opens for you to make it easy to get in. The shopping carts are placed for easy access for your convenience. They know if they make it easy for you to carry more you may buy more of their products.

What happens in some marriages is, one of the partners takes the ease out of easy and the other one is left with the Y. Why should I even try anymore? Then somebody ends up feeling unloved.

Now, this usually doesn’t happen in one day. It normally takes some time and is so gradual it’s hard to figure out when things started going wrong in the first place. But feelings are hurt none the less.

Life has a way of getting hectic at times and priorities can get changed around a bit. When a mate falls toward the bottom of the priority list they tend to stay there for too long. And the communication slows, then the currency doesn’t flow like it used to.

One thing leads to another and the positive feelings are replaced with the negative ones. Their needs aren’t being met so, the marriage gets stagnant and they’re tempted to take their business to your competitor.

When something is not done to correct the situation it can lead to confrontations until one of the partners gets upset and leaves.

In a business if a customer doesn’t buy, it may mean the methods of selling could use some changes. But, throwing the blame for a slow currency flow on them won’t improve the situation!

So, if you’re in this marriage business and you’re a woman feeling unloved. You just don’t understand your market and he’s not buying what you’re selling.

You have to remember it’s all about feelings and emotions when you’re dealing with people. You have to eliminate the negative and stimulate the positive.

At one point in time you made your husband feel like a winner. Sort of like a casino makes their customers feel. When they win and hit it big. They get all excited and want to hug the nearest person around them.

There is a reason casinos pay out with their own chips. Because, people can see the value in them. It triggers positive feelings and emotions. However, if they paid out with cow chips they wouldn’t be in business long.

There’s just something about excepting crap that makes people feel like losers. It takes the ease out of easy to do business with and makes it harder to see any value in trying to.

The biggest portion of people who go to casinos are losers. But, no one working there will ever call them that or make them feel like it either. Even though it may be true, saying so is bad for business.

The funny thing is even a loser will come back to play the slots. If he feels respected and appreciated by the host. And it’s the same in marriage too.

Men really want to please their wives. But, unknowingly a lot of women are paying out with what seems like cow chips to him. Showing him no value and making their husband feel like a loser.

This marriage business of women feeling unloved doesn’t have to be that way for you anymore. If you’ve read this far it shows you have an emotional connection with your husband. And telling me at the same time he’s a bit disconnected from you right now.

One winter about fifteen years ago when my kids were pretty small. They liked to go down in the basement and turn off the lights and play hide and seek in the dark. Around bed time the kids were complaining the house was cold.

It wasn’t the first time I had to work on that old furnace so, I did everything I could think of and it still didn’t work. And ended up calling a repair man. When he get’s there the first thing he does is turn on the power switch that the kids had hit by mistake and it came on.

The silly part of the whole thing was I knew it had a switch but, it never dawned on me that could be the problem. Well, it’s sort of like that with your connection with your husband. If you’re ready for a little help to flip his switch and reconnect with you husband so you you can feel the heat of romance again, then I recommend you check out “The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave

Bob Grant shows you why the relationship connections get broken and the easy way to fix them. Yes, it’s almost as simple as turning on a light switch once it’s pointed out to you.

It doesn’t take much time to have him value you more than a Rolex. And like Disney, he’ll be making your dreams come true. More than likely there will be some rides involved but, not the emotional roller coaster one you’ve been riding.

Can you imagine how it’ll feel when your husband starts loving you more than a kid loves a happy meal? You have the ability to make it all happen by simply clicking the blue link above. Then you my friend, will be back in business again.

17 Comments

  1. Posted May 25, 2011 at 7:37 pm | Permalink

    I really found your take on marriages in how they are very similar to business. I understand where you’re coming from and it seems like you put a lot of thought into it. However, I just see anything that has to do with “business” to be cold and unattached. I guess I’m focusing more on how they are different than how they are the same. Having read your post, I respect what you have to say and understand how this type of mentality can help some marriages, but I guess I just have a different take on marriage. We can agree to disagree, but that’s for everything you had to say.

    Chris: Thank you Wendy for such a quality comment. After deleting over 9,000 30,000spam comments your’s is like a breath of fresh air. It’s not always necessary to agree with me to be my friend. Because I have been wrong before and chances are I’ll be wrong again.

    I just tell it how I see it through my eyes, hoping to get some feed back from intelligent people like you. However, if you’re not passionate about your business your heart is not in it and you may want to consider doing something else.

    Take care my friend, and please come back. I’ve got sixty more articles you can comment on if you would like to and agree or disagree is fine with me.

  2. Posted September 18, 2011 at 7:37 pm | Permalink

    When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get four emails with the identical comment. Is there any means you possibly can remove me from that service? Thanks!

    Chris: I would if I knew how but, at least you got a back link for your trouble.

  3. short quotes
    Posted September 23, 2011 at 4:14 am | Permalink

    Hello, you used to write magnificent posts, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your great writing. Past several posts are just a bit out of track!

    Chris: Sorry my bad! I hate to disappoint my readers as much as my commenters do me. When they can’t stay on topic. How come you never made a real comment on a magnificent post if you liked it?

    It’s still not too late if you’ll read and follow the comment policy first. I’ll even give you the keywords of your choice as a back link with a do follow tag if you can do it.

  4. Posted September 27, 2011 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Both boys and girls feel the impact of just a moment’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

    Chris: Thanks Felix, you just gave me a moment of pleasure.

  5. Joseph Girand
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 3:30 am | Permalink

    I recently came across your article and have been reading along. I want to express my admiration of your writing skill and ability to make readers read from the beginning to the end. I would like to read newer posts and to share my thoughts with you.

    Chris: I have newer post already! Why can’t you share your thoughts about this one? Just pick out a sentence or two and make a real comment about it. How hard is that?

    Read the comment policy to find out how to get a back link with a “Do Follow” tag and the key words of your choice.

  6. Gwenda Tomich
    Posted October 9, 2011 at 12:09 am | Permalink

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this brilliant blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

    Chris: Thank You Gwenda for your encouragement. Maybe I should put a donate button on here but, all I really want from my commenters is just two cents worth of their opinion on the article.

    I LOVE to give FREE back links to anyone that can follow the comment policy! Unfortunately NOT everyone can.

  7. Tyson F. Gautreaux
    Posted October 10, 2011 at 2:01 am | Permalink

    Hey, very interesting writing, it really got me thinking. Thx.

    Chris: Thanks for saying so Tyson that makes my day!

  8. Kate Flechsig
    Posted October 15, 2011 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

    Dude This blog site is amazing How do you make it look this good

    Chris: Hey Kate or should I say Dudette? It all happens because I care about relationships and because of the encouragement of people like you.

    You do know I give keyword rich back links with do follow tags to commenters who follow the comment policy don’t you? Hey, that’s how it works in any good relationship, it’s give and take.

    The key is to give first. And hope for reciprocity so you can give even more. I’m still hoping for my commenters to find the comment policy……….

  9. wow gold
    Posted October 24, 2011 at 2:33 am | Permalink

    I just wanted to tell you I used your site for a recent university project. 😀

    Chris: I’m honored but, don’t blame me if you fail the course. Most of the professors I know are confused. Just saying

  10. Damas Elek
    Posted November 2, 2011 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    I do consider all of the concepts you have introduced on your post. They’re really convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are too quick for beginners. Could you please prolong them a little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

    Chris: Hey Damas, Thanks for your consideration of the concepts. And they do work when you use them right. As far as too quick, I’ve bought e-books shorter than this article.

    If my commenters were willing to say they would buy my book if I wrote it. I would be willing to expand on this article and take it to the next level. Until then, my readers will still get more than they pay for.

  11. Posted November 12, 2011 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    I am very glad this content was available. It’s very thought provoking, informative and easy to read and understand. I know this information will be very helpful in the future.

  12. Bulah Justo
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 9:18 pm | Permalink

    There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down simply by spending his money somewhere else.

  13. Jean
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 9:52 pm | Permalink

    Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam responses?
    If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can advise?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any support is very much appreciated.

    Chris: Sorry Jean, I can’t give you a keyword rich back link with a “Do Follow” tag for your comment. Because, you didn’t stay on topic. But, I can answer your question. If you have a word press blog they usually come with an Akismet spam filter. And it helps some. For awhile I turned mine off, thinking I was missing comments but, to my surprise all I was missing was more spam. And after reading hundreds of them it was starting to discourage me from even having a relationship blog. So, I had to turn it back on again before I shut this site down.

    Listen, I understand human nature. The average person is only in it for them self. I can live around that but, I refuse to live with it. And reward self-centered behavior from spammers. They want a free back link for just copying and pasting some lame spam comment they bought from another spammer which only works if the site owner never reads the comments and approves everything.

    They add no value to the site for the readers what-so-ever with their comment. They usually leave fake e-mail addresses because, they don’t understand relationships at all. The whole essence of this site is teaching people to treat other people like they want to be treated.

    But to answer your question, all spammers know how to do is just cut and paste. I would be surprised if they even knew how to read and wright. There is a cure for ignorance though, it’s called education. But, as far as I’ve seen with stupid spammers there is NO cure for stupid. As a site owner all you can do is hit delete. Because, as far as I know there is STILL no hunting season for them yet. LOL

  14. Posted November 21, 2012 at 9:17 pm | Permalink

    This is terribly interesting advice. I’m a lawyer and take exception to the negative slant. Putting things in writing is very important whether it be in your business or personal life. It focuses your mutual attention on key matters that often aren’t discussed.

    Chris: Hey Chairez, Apparently you weren’t too offended to leave a comment. That’s a relief! I really mean no offense to lawyers in general. But, I don’t mind offending the blood sucking leaches acting as lawyers. I’m sure you’ve been around long enough to actually know a few of the ones I’m referring to in the article.

    I could go on with a rant about the high paid bottom feeders of your profession. But, it wouldn’t change a thing. So, I’ll just say thank you for taking your time to read the article and for your comment. After deleting over 60,000 cut and paste spam comments. Yours was quite refreshing to me.

    By the way you have a nice site! And I enjoy giving back links to intelligent people with sites like yours. And I encourage you to come back and read the comment policy so, you can have the keywords of your choice for your back link on your next comment.

  15. john trembley
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 8:16 am | Permalink

    I know you, man, lol

    Chris: Hey John, good to hear from you!

  16. Posted January 18, 2013 at 12:49 am | Permalink

    In many cases when a wealthy party gets married to a less wealthy party, it’s not always about leaving the other with nothing in a prenup. It’s about protecting what one has worked hard for for a number of years. It’s part of preparing for your financial future as a couple and each of you need to share your financial beliefs so you’re on the same page.

    Chris: Hey Trent, I can agree with you on that however, some folks only need a prenup because, they’re not taking the time to really know their new mate before they marry them. In reality it’s more of a lust thing over love. And that’s my whole point on prenuptial s.
    Granted, people do change over time so, even if you think you know them when you marry you can part as almost complete strangers. And there are several reasons for that and maybe I’ll cover them in another blog post later.
    The bottom line is you are basically right depending on the situation. In fact I was watching a Jewish video today and she was talking about prenuptial s are mentioned in the Torah which is our old testament. So, they have been around since Mosses just like divorce has.
    It’s hard to know what’s in somebody Else’s heart and how a person can change over the years so, prenups are a way of protecting yourself.
    By the way, Thank You for staying on topic! I wish the rest of my commenters would do that!

  17. Sherrie@vintage clothes online create
    Posted March 10, 2013 at 5:44 am | Permalink

    My partner and I stumbled over here coming from a different page and thought I may
    as well check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to going over your web page yet again.

    Chris: Hey Sherrie, hope you find something interesting and helpful

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