My Husband Doesn’t Like Me Anymore

My Husband Doesn’t Like

Me Anymore

When one woman types in my husband doesn’t like me anymore to find this site I feel bad enough. But when maybe the same woman or three different ones type in the same thing three times in two days there has to be a problem there. But it can be easily solved once you understand how a man’s mind works.

I’m sure it didn’t start out that way though. What woman would marry a man that doesn’t even like her? No, not even for all the money in the world or a gun to her head would an American gal commit to that kind of relationship!

Although there are a few countries that still do have prearranged marriages where she may feel obligated to marry for her family. And a woman could feel unliked by her husband. Which is sad, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

With very few exceptions women are pretty smart, until it comes to understanding men. And then the tides turn, to very few women actually do. And that’s where most of their relationship problems start.

What normally happens (at least in America) is a guy and a gal are attracted to each other and fall in love, date for a while and then marry. All this time she thinks it’s going to be a story book marriage.

When the honeymoon is over she realizes he’s no prince. Then she tries to change him. And that’s where the problems begin.

So, she tries whining and nagging to get him to become the prince of her dreams. Which doesn’t work. Then she gets the feeling my husband doesn’t like me anymore.

Sorry sister!

No real man would, with tactics like that. That’s not how to influence any man! Trust me, you don’t want a man you can control. Seriously, think about it. You have enough problems controlling yourself so, are you so special that you get 48 hours in a day to control two different lives.

Believe it or not, if your husband keeps coming home to you, he wants to please you. But, he just doesn’t want to feel controlled by you. Save that for the kids or the dog but, not your husband. Even a cat wouldn’t put up with being controlled without a fight. I’ve had a cat myself I know.

At one time you knew how to get your guy to make the changes you want in him and make him think it was his own idea. Which causes a lot less problems than going the nagging or whining route. A little hint, it’s all about the famine art of influence. And that’s the reason he married you to begin with.

So, I know and even you know deep down you still have your famine influence however, over time for whatever reason you may have just forgotten how to use it on him. And it happens sometimes even to the best of gals. Because husbands can be so frustrating to you at times. But, you still use it on other people successfully. Maybe, it’s because you don’t have to live with them though.

The majority of relationship problems could be avoided if women only knew more about men. And maybe a refresher coarse on how they attracted their man to begin with. You see, men don’t usually change on their own but, they will change to gain pleasure or to avoid some kind of pain.

He really wants to be your prince and make you happy. That’s how men are but, because you don’t understand him now, you end up treating him in a way that makes him feel more like he’s just your court jester or a little boy instead of your prince.

Most women try their best to get what they want out of their man. But, their finesse is lacking and ends up instead of being compelling it’s just plain out repelling to him.

So, instead of being her knight in shinning armor he puts his on armor to protect himself from her. Giving her the feeling my husband doesn’t like me anymore.

The funny part is, his shinning armor looks more like a rusty tin can to you. But, he really doesn’t care at this point about what you think as long as he feels protected.  After all, he was wearing it when he met you and you got him to peal it off  for you. That alone says you DO have famine influence. When he pulled it out and put it on again, it made you feel like he doesn’t like me anymore!

In fact he may have even said it to your face I don’t like you anymore. Which is a warning, his armor is on. If he doesn’t feel like you are treating him with the admiration a knight should be treated with. And if another gal comes along, that will treat him with admiration and respect , he’ll be hers. At that point it doesn’t take much to convince him.

Now, he may not know what he wants or likes exactly but, he sure as the world knows what he doesn’t.

After all your husband sees himself as a knight, wanting to save a damsel in distress. But, he doesn’t want to be controlled by a distressed damsel! Your husband actually wants to be your hero. However, something you’re doing makes him feel more like a zero.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying all relationship problems are caused by women. Because men can be the North end of a South bound horse all on their own. (If you get my meaning) Butt, I’m sure you had that figured out already. (The extra “T” was intended)

On their defense though, guys aren’t raised like gals. They’re not trained to articulate their feelings like girls are. They’re taught when their feelings are hurt  to just toughen up and be a man. But, they’re usually left on their own to figure out what to be a man actually means.

And being taught not to hit women they just put on their armor for self protection. Which only makes it more difficult for women to get to the real issues causing the problems in the first place.

What I’m trying to say is you can have an advantage over your man. With very little effort on your part, you can turn the misunderstandings around. Solve a lot of problems in your relationship and come off appearing as Miss Understanding to your man. And that’s what he’s craving right now.

Can I let you in on a secret? Men are easier to train than puppy dogs. All they need is the proper attention.

You’ve probably seen little girls who’ve had their daddy wrapped around her little finger. And he would do anything in his power for his little sweetie pie. But, her tactics is elevation through admiration and appreciation instead of emasculation through dissatisfaction to get her way. In other words, she builds his ego with appreciation for what he does do and doesn’t belittle him for what he doesn’t do or does wrong.

You can work that same magic on your husband too. As long as you make him feel like he’s the one in control.

Men only want about a dozen things from a relationship.

And when you can give him at least half of them you will never be able to say my husband doesn’t like me anymore.

For some gals it just comes natural and they don’t even realize what they’re doing enough to explain it to other women.

For most women (another name for them is just average women) it doesn’t come that easy. So, it’s no wonder infidelity is rampant, and the divorce rate is at an all time high and still climbing.

A little side note here: The fact that you even found this site, let alone this particular article, puts you way above average. There are thousands of women going through the same experience you are dealing with frantically looking for answers and don’t know where to find them.

Now, this may seem a little off topic, but I’ll bring it back around so you can get the point.

When my oldest son turned three years old he wanted a blow up wading pool. It was a swimming pool to him though.

He talked about it and probably dreamed about having one of his own. On his birthday we had a little party for him. With his mom and I and his grand parents came to celebrate and give him gifts.

Knowing he wanted a swimming pool SO bad his grandmother wanted him to open it first. Well, since she was the one that bought it for him and we all wanted to see his face when he opened it, why not?

Here comes the funny part.

He rips off the rapping paper, looks at it for a few seconds then tosses the box off to the side with a hint of disappointment in his little face to grab another present. So, his grandmother asked him if he knew what that was.

And with the honesty of a child he said yeah, it’s a heavy picture of a swimming pool. Sure wish I had one!

He just didn’t realize what he had in his hands because, it was in a package he couldn’t relate to at the time. And he didn’t know how to handle it.

Once it was explained to him, that’s how they come. The pool was in the heavy box with the picture on the outside but; the actual pool is in the box and is what gave the box the weight. And it just needed to be taken out of the box and inflated. Then he was so thrilled he could care less about the rest of the gifts.

I promised you a point to this true story. Women sometimes are like children in the fact they just look at the packaging and don’t even realize what they’re holding in their hands.

He’s exactly what you’ve wanted all along and maybe even dreamed about. But once you get him in your hands you don’t even realize there are a few steps involved to get the desire of your heart out of the box. So, you toss him to the side and go for another.

Men and wading pools have a couple things in common. They need to be freed from the box that’s restricting them from living up to their full potential. And  a bit of inflation to get them to please you.

A pool just needs some air and a guy needs some respect, appreciation, admiration and understanding to get him pumped up. That’s fresh air to him! And he’s more than happy to breathe in all you’ll give him.

And anything less like nagging and complaining is like farting in his face. You can’t make friends by doing that!

It goes back to the old saying you can’t judge a book by its cover. You have to understand enough to open it and read the lines. And sometimes between the lines with men. Because, some guys can’t always articulate what they really want or how they feel very well.

That’s why I recommend “Mind Your Marriage” for any woman who feels like:

You want to be admired but instead you feel ignored.

You try to be attractive but he makes you feel like you’re repulsive.

At one time you had confidence in your relationship but now you’re unsure.

You used to be appreciated but, now you’re taken for granted.

At one time he made you feel cherished and now you feel abandoned.

There was a time he made you feel special and now he makes you feel replaceable.

You can remember being on the same winning team and now it feels like he’s switched sides.

If any of those struck a note with you then it’s time to change the tune. Because your knight has his armor on. And he feels like he’s doing battle with you. And it’s not your fault, they didn’t teach you this stuff in school.

You do have an advantage over him though. Because his armor isn’t very comfortable for him to wear. And it really doesn’t take much to disarm him. Or convince him how comfortable you can make him feel without it.

Surely, you had to expect some home work with extra curricular activities. Every sport has it’s own set of rules you have to know. And you have to know the plays to be a team player. If not, you get stuck on the side lines until you do. Or worse, kicked off the team.

Marriage could be considered an extra curricular activity. And hopefully even a contact sport for that matter. The difference is your marriage will affect you and your husband’s life more than any game could.

Isn’t that worth investing in a play book to get his armor off?  If he’s had it on for awhile now, it has to be stinking. And you both are smelling it and even feeling it at this point. But, as long as he feels he needs it, he’ll endure the smell for his safety. After all no one taught him to understand women any more than someone taught you to understand men.

It may not be your fault your husband doesn’t like you anymore. However, who’s going to take on the responsibility for changing it, if you don’t? How long are you going to wait on him to change things? Are you willing to risk some bimbo coming along and convincing him it’s safe to take his armor off when he’s around her, before you do something about it?

The choice is yours. You can get the answers you’re looking for on how to become irresistible again to your husband and how to have the deep emotional connection you want with him. And do it a lot easier, cheaper and quicker than all the sessions it would take with a marriage counselor. Or simply hope things change for the better on their own and wait it out.

As with most everything in life there’s either a price or a cost. The price of Mind Your Marriage is only $47 with a 60 day money back guarantee if your marriage doesn’t improve. The cost of doing nothing is feeling like your husband doesn’t like you anymore and possibly an affair and or a divorce.

Now, in the last few minutes I’ve taken you by the hand and lead you to this fork in the road. But I have to leave you on your own now so, I’ll just say the blue links above is the short cut to start feeling like your husband’s best friend again. But, I can’t make that decision for you. All I can do is encourage you and wish you the very best no matter which path you chose.

P.S. I love hearing from my readers either through the comments or the contact page.

Until next time,

Chris Baker

Discouragement is like a dirty house

We can chose to live in it like that or

Get busy and do something about it.

 

 

10 Comments

  1. Posted October 14, 2012 at 4:16 am | Permalink

    Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. This type of
    clever work and coverage! Keep up the awesome works guys I’ve included you guys to blogroll.

    Chris: Thanks Dixie, By the way nice site you have there!

  2. Erwin
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm | Permalink

    With quality content you share, I’m sure getting more traffic will be less hassle.

    Chris: Hey Erwin, I never did sweat the traffic and never advertised to get it. But, I do have some GREAT readers who spread the word to their friends. This site is averaging way over 2,100 visitors a day.
    Unfortunately a lot of them are just cut and paste spammers wanting a back link but add no value to my readers by NOT staying on topic. So, I either delete the whole comment or just their back link.

  3. Posted January 25, 2013 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    I actually had my wife tell me that I dont like her anymore, and she is probably right. Same crap all the time, nagging me and excessive criticism about things that I do or havent done properly. Long story short, im tired, and just about ready to “call the game”. Rather be broke and happy than wealthy and miserable. Life is just too short.

  4. Jillian
    Posted April 25, 2013 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    I appreciate your insight and advice and I am going to try to swallow my hurt and disappointment and try to mend some fences here. My question though is, do men spend this much effort trying to figure us out and learn how to reach us, please us, and fix things with us? After being married for 20 years, I feel like I’m the one who always has to do the soul searching, compromising, and relationship building… And my experience isn’t unique. Why do men seem to have/get a free pass and women do all the work? Frankly, I’m exhausted sometimes!

    Chris: Hey Jillian, First of all I would like to thank you for your comment. It’s refreshing to see one that’s not spam these days.
    To answer your question; Unfortunately for women no they don’t. And there are a few reasons for that. Men don’t think like women and they’re not as sensitive to feelings as women are. That’s not to say they don’t want to please you and fix things but, they’re not very good at taking subtle hints. Men are more goal oriented, if you send him to a store without a list there’s no telling what he’ll bring home. Now, if you give him a list when he gets back you may not get exactly what you wanted but, it will be a lot closer. In other words if something is wrong take the guess work out of it for him and just spell it out to him in a kind, respectful, non-threatening and non-accusing way what it would take to fix it. He’s probably not a mind reader, if he asks what’s wrong don’t tell him “If you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.” He’ll just assume you want to play mind games and he’ll walk away then nothing gets fixed. If you’ll keep in mind inside that grown man is still a confused little boy when it comes to understanding women. So, treat him like your his best friend and share your secrets with him on what it takes to please a woman. And chances are he’ll do his best for you. Reward good behavior and discourage the bad and you’ll have him trained in no time.

  5. ybil from Smini lave vaisselle
    Posted June 2, 2013 at 4:36 am | Permalink

    Your style is very unique compared to other folks I’ve read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this blog.

  6. Posted June 2, 2013 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    Wonderful items from you, man. I have be mindful your stuff prior to and you’re simply extremely fantastic. I actually like what you have bought here, really like what you are stating and the way in which by which you say it. You are making it entertaining and you continue to care for to keep it wise. I can not wait to learn far more from you. That is really a great web site.

  7. Crystal
    Posted July 10, 2013 at 9:53 am | Permalink

    Your characterization of wives disappointed everywhere because they’ve foolishly expected ‘a fairy tale marriage’ is frustratingly ill informed. You underestimate the intellect of women everywhere. I think you’ll find the Disney franchise generally doesn’t inform women’s views of marriage as much as you assume. Two people committed to growing together, pursuing their own respective interests,founded on respect etc- that’s a marriage- and it takes work from men as well. Your article doesn’t seem to understand this- seeking rather to absolve husbands everywhere from taking responsibility for what is their marriage also.

    Your whole article is angled toward teaching a woman to make her husband feel more like a prince, or else he’ll cheat. If that is the basis of a happy marriage- I would have filed for divorce years ago. A husband who chooses to cheat has his own character and integrity to answer for.

  8. Posted October 3, 2013 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    The allegory of “the knight in shinning armor”, and “that men are like puppy dogs” and “the swimming pool” – that was very amusing to read and it sticks in your head :-) Besides the fact that men and women are very different as you humorously pointed out, I also think the problems begin when we expect our partner to fulfill our needs, when it’s actually our own job to make ourselves happy…

  9. Laura
    Posted March 2, 2014 at 2:14 am | Permalink

    Thanks for this article. I’m tired, but I’m going to try.

    Chris: Hey Laura, I’ll consider writing this article a success if you
    are the only one who tries to keep their relationship together. If I
    can encourage you in any way my e-mail is christoper@back2gether.com

  10. Ang
    Posted June 7, 2014 at 1:46 am | Permalink

    I have to say… women don’t even want a dozen things. Or at least I don’t. I don’t want fancy things. I want my husband to be kind when I forget something or when I fail to communicate something to him that I thought I got through to him, like that change of plans that ruins his day… I want to know that I don’t irritate the living crap out of this guy and that he doesn’t think I am stupid, annoying, fat, incompetent and ugly. I don’t expect jack squat. I just want a little compassion. How in the heck do you get someone who TRULY doesn’t like you anymore to have compassion. I feel contempt and resentment no matter how I try to smooth things over. I actually get accused of putting on a pretty face or a nice act when we are having issues. This isn’t with anyone watching mind you. its just us and he acts like I’m putting on an act when I’m really trying to keep the peace. Like he doesn’t even know me. Ive never been manipulative or naggy… but I am often seen as springing changes on him… but I swear he just doesn’t listen to me until its the last minute then he hates me for not telling him sooner. PLEASE tell me what to do! I want him back. no he isn’t unfaithful but he is annoyed with me… and the kids. I am ready to leave and be alone… forever.

    Chris: Well Ang, I’m reading conflicting statements here. First you say, “Please tell me what to do! I want him back”. And then turn around and say, “I am ready to leave and be alone… forever”. So, which one one do you really want? My whole goal with this back2gether.com site is to help people just like you with their relationships. However, I can’t help anyone get to a destination when they don’t even know where they want to go.

    I’m just guessing here but, your husband may be getting the same conflicting signals that I’m getting. And you ARE irritating the living crap out of this guy. You could be frustrating both of you because, you don’t know what you want. So, do us all a favor you, me and your husband and sit down and do some soul searching to find out what you really want.

    Listen Ang, I really want to help you! Especially if you want to get your marriage back on the right track. After you do your soul searching drop me an e-mail at Christopher@back2gether.com if you want my help. If you decide you really want to be alone forever, hermits don’t usually have internet access so, if you decide to go that route I’ll just wish you the best now.

    Actually, I expect to hear from you because, you loved your husband enough to marry him and bore his children and you want to keep your family together. And I’ll even answer your question of How in the heck do you get someone who TRULY doesn’t like you anymore to have compassion. That is, if you remind me.

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